Already taken, sorry! But good luck with your search. :P
Sorry it’s taken me so long to reply back. Life is always getting in the way - haha! Hope this answers your question.
I’ve heard people describe Switches negatively or positively as well. Some will say that they are open and great because they can be either one and are flexible. Others with a strict sense of D/s believe switches are nothing more than wishy washy flakes that can’t decided which side of the D/s fence to fall on. My personal experience as a Switch hasn’t been the easiest and I have heard other switches talk about the same concerns and issues. It’s not all sunshine and rainbows and we don’t all have the ability to jump from Dominant one minute and submissive the next at the flip of the switch (pun unintended). I personally started out as a Dominant because the thought of anyone having control over me made my stomach turn to knots. I just couldn’t trust anyone with that amount of power over me at the time. I loved being a Dominant. It was almost like a high and living off of adrenaline but like adrenaline, I would crash. I would go through a period of burn out because I couldn’t sustain my Dominant nature of super long periods such as more than 6 months without rest. I strugged with it until I discovered someone that I was actually willing to give up control to and I found it was a different feeling altogether compared to what I felt as a Dominant.
As a Dominant it’s an adrenaline high but as a submissive it’s like a period of coming home and being able to rest. I didn’t have to worry about being in control all of the time. I knew there were times before I decided to explore that side of me that I enjoyed being submissive ocassionally but it took me time to let myself discover it and come to terms with it. I found that I tend to like to be in control most of the time. It’s my natural inclination. But there are certain people that bring out my submissive nature. There are some people I can’t get the urge to dominate no matter how submissive they act towards me and there were others that made me nearly orgasm just at the thought of dominating them. It was the same with my submissive side. It was an instinctual response that I could not control and I stopped trying. I learned to understand them and work with them rather than trying to tame them or fit a mold that other people wanted to shove me in.
The way I went about discovering that side of my nature was through Second Life. It was a safe medium where I could feel comfortable that I wasn’t giving too much of myself before I was truly ready. If you don’t know about second life, it’s basically a 3D chat site where you create avatars and can do anything and everything from working to gaming to sex. It is incredibly detailed and you’d be amazed at the things you can do on there. For people that join and immediately start looking for Lifestylers, it’s tough because there can be a lot more misses than hits. If you decide to check it out, I’d say join groups like ACES (Adult Community Education Society), The Dominion (A Female Domination). ACES is a great group of people that hold discussion groups on various topics surrounding the D/s lifestyle. You can also inquire about other groups from the group members that could help you in getting more information. The Dominion is not as scary as it may sound. They are a bunch of great ladies that enjoy Female led relationships and they hold weekly discussions for both submissives and dominants. I would suggest, if you decide to join, to get the role of Dominant in the group as it allows you more freedom. Discussions are a great way to get involved and understand more along with sharing ideas and thoughts on the same topic.
Another site, if you haven’t joined it already, would be Fetlife.com. It can be pretty informative and it’s a great way to get involved little by little in your own local community and the global one as well. They have many groups for discussions on various subjects and you can share your ideas, thoughts, issues with like minded individuals. You might also find some information about discussion groups in your own local city that you can attend. They aren’t things like sex parties but just people getting together and talking and learning. If you’re serious about exploring I’d say those would be the best routes to take to start out even if it can seem a bit daunting at times.
Also, another last bit of advice is…Everyone will have their opinion on what D/s should be or how relationships should go. 70% of the things they say are bullshit. I say this because we are all different and the way we have relationships will be as well. What works for one may not be the best course for another. Trying to immulate another person’s relationship is probably the best way to have it end if you aren’t being true to yourself, your partner and your feelings. Be true to who you are and what you want. To understand what you want in a partner you have to first truly understand what you want and enjoy in yourself. What are your interests? What is your submission type? Why is your domination type? What do you want ultimately out of a relationship when you decide to move forward? Do you want a Switch? Perhaps you’d end up having one dedicated partner that is either submissive or dominant and then playing with another person ocassionally that is the opposite of your partner. Or you may even decide that the traditional relationship styles are all wrong for you. I’ve explored everything from traditional relationship setups, polygamous relationship, open relationships, etc. If you had asked me if I would ever do half the things I’ve done when I first started my journey of self discovery in BDSM I’d have laughed and called you crazy. You learn a heck of a lot about yourself when you finally start wading into the pool. It can be fun, trying, sad, distressing but it’s always a learning experience.
I hope this helped a little bit. Sometimes my explanations can be a bit convoluted to some people.
Just an fyi:
No photos of myself (at least not yet) and no revealing my RL name, city, or occupation. Other than that. Feel free to ask away. :3
For the record and to get it out of the way, I am:
5 feet 6 inches
Long Dark Brown hair, Brown Eyes
Switch and can be naughty as hell. :P
Pain and pleasure… Pain and pleasure… Eventually, pain IS pleasure.
There are many ways to train a girl.